Sin sometimes feels like gravity. When I find myself confronted by the aftermath of another selfish outburst, like I did today, and I’m beyond frustrated that yet again I did exactly what I said I wouldn’t do…sin sometimes feels inevitable. It sometimes feels like sin has won. It has its hooks in me and there is nothing I can do to escape it…just like gravity. It’s always there…and I am always subject to it. It seems like this inescapable force that keeps pulling back into old ways, bad habits, or just lazy, selfish behavior. And when things are really bad, when I feel I am in this cycle of bad decisions, sin can truly feel hopeless. No matter what I do, how determined I am, or how hard I work to be different…I keep falling back down. Sometimes I think…why bother?…what’s the point?

Recently I finished a story on Audible (www.audible.com…what they label an Audible Original) called, “The Man Who Knew the Way to the Moon”. As the title hints, the story is about the monumental role one particular, largely unknown, man played in the success of the Apollo 11 mission. But what jumped out at me, at least in the wake of me having screwed up yet again, was the discussion of a perennial challenge faced by all space missions–achieving escape velocity.

Escape velocity is the speed at which an object must travel to break free of a planet or moon’s gravitational force. It’s the speed need to break free from what feels like an inevitability to most of us…gravity. To put this in some kind of context, the speed needed to break free from Earth’s gravity is over 25,000 miles per hour. That kind of speed requires a lot of energy. And that’s why for most of us, gravity feels inevitable. At best, we flirt with escape. With the aid of machines like airplanes or hang gliders we can spend extended time off the ground. And individually, with some momentum and a good jump, we can enjoy may a fraction of a second of self-propelled freedom from the earth’s pull. But in the end, gravity wins. What goes up, has to come down.

Maybe because of my frame of mind at the time, but the connection between the pull of sin and the problem of overcoming Earth’s gravity hit me like a 50 foot neon sign in the middle of the desert. So I read a little bit more about escape velocity. What I learned is that escaping earth’s gravity really comes down to two things: how much you are carrying with you (size and payload) and how much energy (fuel) you have. The more stuff you are trying to take with you into space (and thus the bigger the rocket or spaceship), the more resistance there is and the more energy it requires. This is why one of the constant initiatives within any space program is the development of lighter, less cumbersome space vehicles and the simultaneous developing of more efficient and longer lasting fuel sources. We need to make attaining escape velocity easier. I need to make escaping sin’s “gravity” easier too.

One key step is carry less stuff with me. I know a bunch of Christian authors, as well as many spiritual writers in other belief systems, have written about this. I think it boils down to both some materially and spiritually practices. Materially, I need to not be too attached to stuff…to the things of this world. So often our frustrations and selfishness revolve around stuff we claim ownership of…things that are ours such as our time, our money, our plans, etc. When something imposes on them or threatens to take them away, I get defensive…protective…selfish. The solution is, as I once heard someone prescribe it, to hold things with an open hand rather than with a clenched fist. This is figurative of course, but the idea is that we should be thankful for…and enjoy…what God provides, but also be ready and willing to let Him take something away whenever He deems it best for us.

Spiritually, I need to travel liter by not carrying guilt and past mistakes with me. When I feel guilty…when I feel inadequate…when I feel like a failure…its at these moments that I tend to be most defensive…most self-protective…most selfish. I don’t want others to remind me of how flawed am…or how much I’ve messed up. And so long as I feel unworthy and unloved, I am not going to be able to aspire to more…to aspire to be better. The guilt and shame ways me down. Thankfully, as a Catholic, the Sacrament of Reconciliation provides a very tangible way to reclaim an awareness of God’s love for me, not to mention a practical way to leave all my mistakes in the past. But I can also lighten my load simply by getting on my knees and asking God to forgive me and asking Him to take away the guilt and shame. It’s easier to escape when the chains aren’t holding you down.

Secondly, even when I’m less encumbered by material things or the guilt of past mistakes, I still need fuel. The lighted spacecraft in the world won’t escape the Earth’s gravity unless something propels it upward. What I need is transformative energy, and I think I’ve pretty much established that I am not able to generate that kind of energy on my own. I need God. I need His strength…his energy. I need Him to change me…to propel me. an for me, I think the biggest change that implies is that I need to be in a place to receive it. I need to be in prayer every day. I need to be reading Scripture. I need to be looking expectantly for His guidance in my life….from friends….from family…from strangers, and from circumstances. There is no question about whether He has enough power. The issue is whether I am ready to receive it. Am I on the launchpad…am I ready to let him propel me into His orbit. There are lots of ways to get here, but they all require my being deliberate…and being focused on my relationship with Him. He needs to be a priority in my life.

So…while I may not be a rocket scientist…nor a saint at this point…the bottom line seems to be that if I truly want to escape the pull of sin in my life, I need to let go of “stuff”, engage with God a bit more, and let Him propel me. Otherwise I don’t think my efforts to change have any chance of getting off the ground.