Where are you? An interesting question coming from God. At the time He posed this question, there were only two people in the whole world…Adam and Eve…and so it’s not as if God lost Adam in the crowd of people (and besides God is omniscient afterall). So it makes me wonder what God was really asking Adam….and what He is really asking me.

We know that Adam had just sinned…for the first time…the first sin. He ate the fruit that God had forbidden him to eat. And apparently eating this fruit (from the tree of knowledge of good and evil) opened Adam to a host of fears and paranoia and emotions…and knowledge. Adam’s initial response to God is probably what we would all do…he answers based on his geographic location, though not getting too specific, and throws in a bit of a justification for why he is where he is (again forgetting or ignoring the fact that God knew where he was and knows his heart).

“I heard you in the garden;
but I was afraid, because I was naked,
so I hid myself.” Genesis 3:10

To this feeble answer, God asks another question…one that essentially amounts to, “What did you do?” He is calling Adam out…encouraging Adam to confront and admit his sin.

Then he asked, “Who told you that you were naked?
Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?” Genesis 3:11

What continues from here is a spiraling blame game where Adam blames Eve, Eve blames the serpent, and God holds all of them accountable.

Now this reading was obviously selected because of it’s connection to Mary (the new Eve) on the feast of her Immaculate Conception (not Jesus’ conception). However, what leaps out at me when I consider all four of today’s readings is the contrast between Adam and Eve’s disobedience and Mary’s complete assent and submission. One the one hand, we have ourselves…fallen, sinful, ashamed…and on the other hand we have who we are striving to be…humble, obedient, faithful. And in the midst of all this, God is asking…where we are on this continuum.

Our first instinct (much like Adam’s) might be nonchalant…trying to respond as matter-of-factly as we can, but also trying to explain or justify why we are where we are. But we can see where that got Adam. No…if our true desire is to move closer to Jesus…to become like Mary…then we need to face our failures. We need to bravely examine our lives…our actions…our failures to act…and confront those times when we fell short of what God wants of us (and what we want for ourselves). We can only grow, if we learn from our mistakes…and we can only learn from mistakes if we recognize and acknowledge them. So God asks where we are…not so he can hear our answer….but so we can hear our answer. C.S. Lewis notes that prayer doesn’t change God…it changes us. And that is what is at play here. God requires that we examine ourselves and confess our sins…not because God needs us to do this…but because He knows we need this.

If we can be this honest with ourselves…and this honest with God…then we can “sing a new song unto the Lord” and then can we hope to achieve (though not through our own power…but God’s) what God called us to from before we were born.

…He chose us in Him, before the foundation of the world,
to be holy and without blemish before Him.
In love He destined us for adoption to Himself through Jesus Christ,
in accord with the favor of His will,
for the praise of the glory of His grace
that He granted us in the beloved. Ephesians 3:4-5

And so on this feast of Mary’s Immaculate conception, let us consider the incredible example of her obedience…and answer for ourselves…where are we? Is our relationship with God more like Adam’s…or more like Mary’s?

On Friday, the Gospel reading told of two blind men who cried out to Jesus to heal them. When He approached them He asked, “Do you believe that I can do this?” I think as Christians, we confront this question every day. And rather than being the easy, throw-away question that it seems, I believe it can challenge the very core of our Faith…at least is does mine.

The easy answer to whether God can do something is simple intellectual assent. Of course God can do this…or that. God can do anything. He is Omnipotent…He is without equal. There is nothing God can’t do. But while this is all true, it is an answer in the abstract. It is something we believe because we are suppose to believe it. It is just logical. If Go dis God, He can do anything. But it is one thing to say that you believe in a chair…and a wholly other thing to actually sit down. The challenge comes when we are believing for…is in our own life.

When I first read this passage, I immediately started running through all the really challenging areas in my life. I recalled the places where I struggle the most…the areas that get most of my prayer time…the situations where I am the most frustrated and/or have the least hope of it getting better. And then I asked myself this question. Do I think God can do this? Do I believe God can fix this? Do I believe He can make this better? And as my mind darted to the easy answer, I forced myself to go beyond the literal words of the question…and get to what I think is the heart of it. Do I believe God will do this…do I believe He will fix this…do I believe He will make this better? When I ask that question, I am forced to admit, my faith is not as strong as that of the blind men in Jesus’ story.

You see if I believe God will fix my most difficult situation…if I believe God really will relieve this burden…if I believe He will make things better…then why do I despair? Why do I worry? Why do I feel hopeless even thinking about it? Despair, worry, fear, hopelessness…these are not markers of Faith. So I’m left with the admission that I don’t really believe God is going to act in some of the situation sin my life. I don’t really believe He is going to make things better. And that scares me…in fact it shakes me to the core.

Why don’t I think God cares enough to act? Why don’t I believe that He is faithful…and will answer my many prayers? Why don’t I think God wants good things for my life? It’s such an odd question to contend with…because the Bible is full of evidence to the contrary.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. 2 Corinthians 9:8

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life ? “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:25-34

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

Clearly God loves us and clearly God loves me. Sometimes I think my doubt stems from feeling unworthy. Who am I that God should love me? I mean it doesn’t take too much to rationalize that there are more important issues and situations in the world. Or as Brooks & Dunn put it, that God must be busy. At other times I think my doubt is really just my impatience….my selfishness. Because God hasn’t fixed the situation yet, I presume He is not going to. Since He hasn’t moved according to my timeline, I figure He isn’t going to move at all. He must not care. And at still other times, my doubt really stems from my own realization…somewhere deep down…that the resolution to the situation already lies within me. I already have the power to change it…to fix it…to make this situation better…but I don’t. So my unbelief in God’s actions are really my not believing in myself…in my own willingness to do what needs to be done.

But whatever it is that impedes my complete trust in what Jesus can and will do, the end of the story gives me every reason why I need to fight through it.

“Yes, Lord,” they said to him.
Then he touched their eyes and said,
“Let it be done for you according to your faith.”
And their eyes were opened.

You see, God chooses to move according to our faith….and so I can limit God (because He allows me to). I can not live up to my potential…I can get mired down in hopelessness…I can live in constant frustration and doubt. I can do all these things…if I choose. But that is not God’s desire. He desires to heal and transform and deliver. God desires to be in every situation in my life. And He’ll act in every situation…if I just trust Him. If I believe not only that He can…but that He will act…then miracles will happen. I just gotta have Faith.

So I heard a story yesterday about a grandmother who threw her 2 1/2 year old granddaughter off a 5th floor walkway at a mall…killing the little girl…and I thought…how? How could someone do this? But no sooner did the question form in my mind and I also had the answer: evil. What else could be the source of such awful, despicable, tragic events? The devil exists…and we see him everyday.

People may doubt that demonic possession still happens (or ever happened), but I think the truth is that it happens much more frequently than we realize. Of course these “possessions” are not the Hollywood versions (i.e. The Exorcist). Based on outward appearance they are far less dramatic and there duration is rarely longer than a thought…an impulse…a nudge. But these possessions nonetheless have horrific consequences.

I don’t throw out the idea of possession to suggest the grandmother, or any perpetrator of horrible, evil acts is absolved of responsibility. On the contrary, its the decisions and choices people make in their lives that make them vulnerable and susceptible to Satan’s prompting. The Evil we do is absolutely our fault. But I mean when you try to think of how angry someone would have to get to desire to kill her own 2 1/2 year old grandchild…and well…it seems that level of contempt for life…for innocence…must have its root in the Devil himself. All the stories we hear like this…all the atrocities committed…that is what happens when the weakest part of our humanity is let loose. Evil is what happens when we are left unchecked…without restraint…given over to our selfish, prideful hearts. But we find that path with Satan’s help. We open the door…he sends the thought right on in. We set the stage…he writes the scene. It’s as if there is a weird, perverted form of the power we get from the Holy Spirit to do good…only this power comes from Satan…and it emblazons us to do evil.

As I thought more about the horror of this event (and others like it), I was distraught by the realization that in the battle of that moment…when there was still a choice to be made by that grandmother…Evil won. And then I thought about my own life…and the places where I struggle with my own sin. I thought about all the rationalization I do…all the internal debates I have about whether such and such is really wrong or whether it might be okay for me to do x, y, or z. I mean let’s face it…sometimes I struggle with the “why” part of not being allowed to do something. Other times I struggle with my resolve to avoid some particular sin…especially when it seems as if no one really gets hurt by the sin. Then it came to me. Looking at this single tragedy amidst a sea of them…the reason for doing what I should do came to me.

No matter how difficult it might be to resist the temptation to sin…no matter how innocuous the sin might seem…I need to not sin so that Evil doesn’t win. Not this time…not in this moment. Whatever pleasure I think the sin might bring, however harmless it might appear, no matter how small it might be, I can’t let sin win…not here…not now…not because of me.

And while I realize the internal struggle of one person…particularly me…is of seemingly little consequence in the grand scheme of the universe…and Eternity…I find the urge to fight the good fight no less compelling. Without wanting to get too grandiose, this reminds me of a scene from Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. It’s the point in the story where Frodo really starts to lose heart…where doubt truly takes hold of this hero…where the weight of his quest is pressing down upon him to the point where it seems he will break long before he will succeed. That is his friend and companion, Samwise, says something that opens his eyes (and all our eyes) to the significance of what doing what should be done…even in the face of failure.

Frodo: I can’t do this, Sam.
Sam: I know. It’s all wrong. By rights we shouldn’t even be here. But we are. It’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn’t want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn’t. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something.
Frodo: What are we holding onto, Sam?
Sam: That there’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo… and it’s worth fighting for.

That is what it all comes down to…that’s what the tragic death of this beautiful little girl made me realize. That whatever my struggles, whatever my sacrifice, I can’t let Evil win. I can’t relinguish a single victory. Though I am small and insignificant in the grand scheme…though there are far bigger and far more important battles taking place every moment of every day…I can’t let Satan win my little internal battles. I can’t add to the Evil in this world…I simply can’t. And though I will surely fail at times…I have to keep pulling myself back up (or let others help me up)…because win or lose…denying Evil another victory…no matter how small…THAT is worth fighting for.

Sometimes I find it difficult walking the line between being earnest in self-examination…striving for the right path…and being too hard on myself…to the point of being unmerciful. On most days I am much more apt to see what is wrong in me…where I have failed…than to see what I did to please God. Of course when I do feel a sense of happiness and satisfaction in having done something that I think pleases Him, I quickly identify this self-satisfaction as pride and chastise myself for feeling good about doing what I should be doing anyway.

But thankfully, passages like today’s first reading (Rom 10:9-18) remind me that I am saved not by my successes…not by my accomplishments…but by my belief in Jesus…my trust in Him. I say this very cognizant of the faith vs. works debate that has long raged between Protestants and Catholics. And to that all I can say (beyond what The Church teaches) is that for me…my belief and trust are work. Everyday I have a decision…and really every moment of everyday…to follow Him. That decision…that choice is my affirmation (or denial) of my belief and faith in Jesus. My life is recognizably different when I am working out my faith…and striving to please God. Unfortunately, my striving does not always end in success.

But I need to recall the lesson I learned from a fantastic book by Henri Nouwen titled, “The Return of the Prodigal Son. Taking inspiration from Rembrandt’s “Return of the Prodigal Son,” Nouwen takes the reader through a spiritual journey aimed at bestowing the reader with a radically new appreciation for the life-changing reality that God loves us…He truly loves us. Even though we reject Him and are selfish and take advantage of His blessings and distort His truth and pervert His gifts…He still loves us. St. Paul teaches us this so very plainly in Scripture:

While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

And so today, in the light of Christ’s saving grace…I renew again my pledge to always keep God’s love for me and for everyone at the forefront of everything I think and do. Though I will fail today, I am still loved. Though I will give in to weakness today, I am still His Child. And though I will sin…thank God…I am also saved.

It’s always a strange juxtaposition for me…being at the beginning of the Christmas season…and yet reading about the end times…and the persecution that will come because of Christ. Maybe it’s fitting…a way of keeping everything in perspective. Of course Christmas is a joyful time…a time of thanksgiving…a time of celebration. But always at the edge of the Christmas season…there is a hint of a shadow cast from the Cross. This Baby who was born to save us all…will save us by crucifixion. He must die…so that we can live. And the same is true for us…we must die…die to our selves…die to our flesh…so that we may live.

But the thing that really struck me in today’s readings was the Gospel. It seems like Jesus is warning us…that when it all comes down to it…all that we’ll have is Him. Ultimately, our loyalty must be to Him above all. Not to family, not to friends. Our love for Him must surpass that of even our parents, our siblings, and even our spouses and children. Of course many people are blessed with spouses who are truly yoked together with them…sharing this gift of Faith in Christ. And thank God for all those whose children have grown up and not departed from the way of Faith taught to them. But the truth is…when push comes to shove…when the world hates you…when death is the cost of belief…we can never be sure how anyone will hold up. I can’t imagine the feeling of betrayal that would come with being “handed over” by those you love most in this world. But of course, this is nothing that Jesus Himself did not experience.

And so again we find the theme…of holding everything with our hands open. Everything we have here on Earth can be taken away in a flash. All that lasts…all that is Eternal…we find in and through Christ. He will protect what matters. He will restore all that is lost ten times over. I guess it all comes down to Trust. Do I trust Jesus with everything? I mean really…everything? Am I willing to let go of everything…all that I love and hold dear…all that I value? That’s what it comes down to it seems. Do I love Christ…really love Him? Do I trust Him….really trust Him? And do I love and trust Him…above all?

A seemingly simple observation…but a powerful teaching. That is what I see in today’s Gospel. I mean it is maybe one of the shortest “lessons” Jesus taught…but as best I can tell…in encompasses the heart of what we are called to as Christians.

…but she, from her poverty, has offered her whole livelihood. Luke 21:4

We are all impoverished. Our sin, our selfishness, our pride…they leave us with so very little to offer Christ. We are flawed and wounded and weak…at least we have allowed ourselves to become these things. But even as we are, Christ humbled Himself, suffered and died for our sake….so that we might live. And so now that we are alive…His Spirit calls us to offer our livelihood….our everything. Out of our emotional, physical, and spiritual poverty…we are to give to God everything that we are. The good and the bad….knowing that none of it is worthy of Him…but trusting that He can transform it. This humble widow…whose name we don’t ever learn…provides a moving, humbling example for us to follow. Whatever we have…however poor it may seem…we need to give it to God. I don’t have any excuse to hold on to any of it. Whatever good I have is only through Him…and everything else is the result of my own weakness, but it has been redeemed by Him. So I must give it all to Him….I must not withhold anything. Whatever time I have….not just my extra time…it is His. Whatever energy I have…not just leftover energy from my week…it is His. Whatever resources I have…not just the stuff I don’t use any more anyway…they are His. It’s really as simple as that. That is our call. That is my call. So what am I waiting for? It’s time to give.

I have no doubt there are a million things God can teach me from the Book of Revelation…and perhaps a million from today’s reading about the two witnesses . But one of the “lessons” that I walk away with…is that it ain’t over until it’s over. We see in this excerpt from the last days….it looks as though Evil has won…and by all appearances they had. These brave, powerful servants of God (the two witnesses) were defeated by the Beast…by Satan…and beaten publicly….seemingly convincingly. Then as if that wasn’t enough to shrink the hope of believers….the Evil ones gloated…for three days.
Now if I am a believer in that time…if I am on the side of Good…I have to be feeling defeated…hopeless. The whole world literally seems to be falling apart before our eyes. We’ve been living through the Great Tribulation…Evil seems to be unstoppable. Pain after pain, injury after injury, loss after loss…and then…finally…two Champions emerge.

These two witnesses…these two servants of God have power that surpasses anything the evil ones can muster. And so we breathe a sigh of relief and allow ourselves to think…finally…our heroes…finally….Good….finally we will win. But then…then the unthinkable happens. Satan mounts an attack…and he defeats these Champions of Good. He strikes them down…and not only gloats…but displays their beaten bodies for the whole world to see. They even celebrate…and give gifts! How could anyone not start to ask…why did God send us these Champions only to have them defeated? I mean how much worse could things appear. We’ve suffered loss upon loss….defeat upon defeat…all appears dark. And even though we believe…and even though in our minds we know we can trust God, even though we have heard the stories of His great miracles, and even though we have seen miraculous things in our own lives…this…this seems almost too much. Our hope hangs by a thread. It stands at the precipice of Doubt. Heck, we may even be angry with God. Why is He not protecting us? Why is He letting us suffer like this? Why doesn’t He just end this? Even if we still believe God wins eventually…we might still be bitter about the now…and our Faith in the moment might still waiver. Sure…eventually God ultimately wins….but however you look at it…our Faith would be shaken…at least I fear mine would be.
But then…just when we felt the last bit of Hope starting to slip away…God moves…and He moves Big. He responds so powerfully…so incredibly…so beyond our expectations. Our dead Champions…He raises them. He brings them back to life. We knew He could do it…but we never believed He actually would. Satan didn’t defeat God’s witnesses…no matter what it looked like. He didn’t win. It was all part of God’s plan. Satan was never in control…despite how it looked. The victory….our victory…God’s victory was never in doubt. Not only did God have the ultimate victory…but He had the victory in that moment. We couldn’t see it…but it was there. And that victory…that battle…strengthened us…to endure the next. God will not abandon us…He will not forsake us. God is Faithful…God is True…and we are His children. I am His child. And I can believe…always…in any situation. Sometimes…actually often…it is not what we see…but Who we see. Father, help me to keep my eyes on You!

Sometimes I try to do as much as I can for Christ…so long as it doesn’t inconvenience me. I am willing to donate and tithe…but I don’t give so much that I have to do without something. I will help and volunteer…but only if they ask me. I will reach out and minister to those in need…but I don’t want to feel uncomfortable. I will pray and lift up my brother and sisters…but if I’ve already been praying a while and I have stuff I “need” to get started on, I’ll catch them next time. And to these bouts of lethargy or complacency or minimalism, my Savior says:

I know your works,
that you have the reputation of being alive, but you are dead.
Be watchful and strengthen what is left, which is going to die,
for I have not found your works complete in the sight of my God. Revelations 3:2-3

To my ears, this is equivalent to the admonishment directed at the villian in A Knight’s Tale (which is an excellent movie by the way):

You have been weighed.
You have been measured.
And you have absolutely…
Been found wanting.

And of course He is right. If I do “just enough” then I am falling short of not only what God wants me to do for others…but also of what God wants to do for me. If I don’t actively pursue all the opportunities God has for me…then I am missing out. I can’t disrupt God’s plan by my disobedience. Someone else will donate, someone else will volunteer, someone else will minister, and someone else will pray. But I will miss out…I will be less.
Actually, Matthew West conveys all this far more powerfully than I can in his song The Motions.

This might hurt, it’s not safe But I know that I’ve gotta make a change I don’t care if I break, At least I’ll be feeling something’ Cause just okay is not enough Help me fight through the nothingness of life

I don’t wanna go through the motions I don’t wanna go one more day without Your all consuming passion inside of me I don’t wanna spend my whole life asking,”What if I had given everything, instead of going through the motions?”

So that’s it. I have to make a change. I have to strengthen what is left. I have to live this next moment, this next opportunity differently. When I feel worn down…when I feel tired…when selfishness starts to rear its ugly head in the middle of serving Christ…I have to keep going…keep pushing…and remember, I am not my own. I was bought at a price. And I am God’s servant. He supplies me all that I need…and will not ask more of me than He empowers me to do. So next time, whether its giving, or serving, or ministering, or praying…I can’t do just enough…I need to do more than enough…because enough simply ain’t enough.

Not quite two months ago, I completed my Cursillo weekend. Though I went reluctantly, I left inspired. I was inspired to do more for Christ. I was inspired to share with others my now fuller understanding of God’s love for each one of us. I was inspired by the men surrounding me that weekend to be more of the man God created me to be. My Cursillo weekend was no doubt a “mountain top” experience.
Unfortunately (or at least so it seems), like all mountain top experiences, I had to come down off the mountain. Very few if any of us can actually live on the mountain of these powerful encounters with Christ…and I am not sure we are supposed to. Our faith needs to be tested…and strengthened…if it is to survive…if it is to carry us to Eternity. And as anyone who has had such an experience knows…it is easy to believe on the mountain.
And so here I am…nearly eight weeks into my 4th day (as the Cursillo movement refers to it)…and I can feel the world creeping back in…slipping between all that I learned and realized on that incredible weekend…and pushing it a bit farther away from my mind. I am finding all my radically ideas and “crazy” promises to God about my life are becoming more practical…more “realistic.” I am realizing I can’t really do “that” and maybe “this” isn’t really what God was calling me to do. In other words…I’m losing my nerve. Like a steady dose of Novocaine, the world…and every day life…is dulling the fire and passion and inspiration I brought back with me from my Cursillo weekend. But thank God…I read today’s Scripture readings.

Yet I hold this against you:
you have lost the love you had at first.
Realize how far you have fallen.
Repent, and do the works you did at first. (Revelation 2:4-5)

That’s what is happening…I am losing the love…the inspiration…the passion…I had at first after my retreat. And maybe I’m not losing it so much…as Satan is trying to steal it (John 10:10). Either way, I need to wake up and remember. I need to remind myself of the certainty of my weekend experience. When the world was held away, I could hear God so much better. That only makes sense. And so why should I doubt what I heard? Why should I question the decisions I made? Yes…they may not seem uncomfortable…or impractical…now that I am face-to-face with the world again. But that’s the point right? Jesus came to transform…to transform us…to transform me…and to transform the world. That can’t happen if we all stay the same…in the same patterns…with the same “concerns” and preoccupations about what the world will think of me.
There’s this fantastic country song, Love Like Crazy, that I think captures the heart of what I feel God is saying to me. While certainly a love song, the underlying message is that when you think about it…love is crazy. It’s such a radical idea…to deliberately and completely pour yourself out for someone else…to sacrifice your own wants and desires for someone else. But that’s what love is…that is how it survives…and grows…and flourishes. So no wonder the things God asks of us on our mountain top experiences…on our retreats…and in our God moments…sounds so crazy when we come back down…this world needs that kind of crazy. Many thought Jesus was crazy. He continually pushed the acceptable beliefs people held until they became radical, life-changing beliefs. And the world will never be the same.
So I get it…I hear you, God. I need to hold on to those truths you showed me. I need to rekindle the passion you set aflame in me. I need to recall the conviction you stirred in me. And as the song says…I need to “never let your praying knees get lazy.” But most of all…I need to not be afraid to follow You…to love You…to love You like crazy!

There was a time when I was very interested in “the end times.” It was around when the “Left Behind” series first came out. I remember getting caught up in these books. It was very exciting to think about…the final cosmic battle of Good versus evil. But I also read other interpretations and ideas about what many Christians refer to as the Rapture or the Return of Christ, and I realized that perhaps the Bible isn’t quite as explicit as some scholars have come to think about what will (or will not) happen as the world winds down. For me, I walked away from my own investigation deciding not to become too preoccupied with the when and what of Jesus’ return. After all, Jesus Himself said no one would know the time (see: Matthew 24:36)…and it seems as though each generation of believers always thinks it is the last…even Paul seemed to think so (see: 1 Corinthians 7:29-31). I decided that if I was living my life the way I should…as best I could…following God…trying to be like His Son…then that was all I needed to do. And then…I read today’s Scripture readings.

In today’s Gospel, Jesus once again challenges all that I think I know…or all that I know how to think…about something…and He offers a radical alternative. He says,

…and likewise one in the field must not return to what was left behind.” Luke 17:31b

After I read this…and recognized this passage was leaping off the page at me…I saw another perspective. Christ comes to us everyday. Since everyday could be “the day,” that makes every day “the day.” Christ is right in front of us…always present before us…asking…waiting for us to surrender…to stop fighting…and simply believe with everything we have…to give Him our all…our everything. And when we do…there is no turning back…no holding on to whatever sin…and lifestyle…and pattern we left behind. Just like Peter…when we take our eyes off of Christ before us…we sink (Matthew 14:28-31). I can’t ignore the Revelations and the wisdom to be gained from the “end times.” I must keep it ever-present…as Christ is ever-present. It should be a continual reminder…a guide…maybe even a push…to stay vigilant and to run the good race.
Anyway, all of this reminded me of a song by Steven Curtis Chapman, Burn the Ships. From the first time I heard it…this song spoke to me. It embodies how I want to live my faith. It talks about not giving yourself a way to go back to your “old life.” When you arrive in the new world…your new…or renewed…faith in Christ…you burn the ships…your only way back. You commit to it 100%. It’s all or nothing…because Jesus asks for our all. My faith can’t be half way…or lukewarm…or in between. I have to give Him everything…without regret…without hesitation. When I fail to do that, I am denying Him and calling Him a liar…because I don’t believe Him and don’t trust His promises to love and prosper me.
So what does this have to do with the end times? Well…maybe nothing. Perhaps these are all just my ramblings. But for me…I guess I look at all the time and energy spent trying to figure out when Christ is coming back…when and what the Rapture will be…and it seems to me that all that time and energy should be spent living for God now…in this moment. It’s not like if we knew when Christ was coming that we would have any less formidable a task…to live a life of holiness…as Christ is holy. But when that moment comes…we should be free to look ahead…with no struggle or strain to look back. We should have already committed ourselves so completely…that no matter what happens…our “fate” was sealed long ago. Christ purchased us with His blood…and so we should sell ourselves out completely to God. We burned our ships…maybe one at a time…maybe one a day…and maybe we are still burning them…but regardless…there can be no turning back. My prayer is that when that day comes…either Christ’s return…or my going Home…I pray that I am able to step out and walk to Christ on the water of Eternity. How else could I get to Him…after all…all my ships are burned.

Peace in Him.