Living as a Flawed Disciple

The “Wedding at Cana” has always been a challenging story for me. I mean I get the miracle…obviously. And the foreshadowing seen in the water being turned into wine. But what I have always struggled to really “get” is the interaction between Mary and Jesus.

Here they are at a wedding…and presumably it was a relative of theirs since Mary seems to be involved in (or at least aware of) the behind-the-scenes details…and they run out of wine. Mary turns to Jesus and tells Him that they are out of wine. And no matter how many times I look at it, I always read Jesus’ first response as sort of flip and indignant…something along the lines of “so how is this my problem?” But obviously that isn’t what Jesus means. Still it’s curious that He doesn’t immediately show concern…or even an inclination to help. But of course in the end He does…and we have Jesus first public miracle.

So I started thinking through this today (while working my way through the Luminous Mysteries of the Rosary), and I think God pulled the veil back a little bit on this for me. I think maybe that what we have here is a lesson (once again taught to us my Mary) in seeking God’s help in our lives.

First, I think maybe the initial exchange between Jesus and His Mother reveals God’s desire that we open our hearts to Him and share our true desires and wants (and fears) with Him. You see….initially…Mary doesn’t ask anything of Jesus. She simply states a fact, “they have no wine.” And because Mary hasn’t asked anything of Him….because she hasn’t really shared her desire with Him….her “ask”…Jesus pushes back a bit and wonders aloud what this has to do with Him. In essence He is inviting Mary to be more explicit…to think about what she is really saying…and to share her heart’s desire with Him. And I think He wants the same from us. Certainly He hears (and answers) our prayers of “Help me, God” or “I Need You” or whatever. But I think His ultimate desire is that we develop the awareness within our self to understand our real desires and motivations…and then the courage to voice them to Him…Our Creator. It’s not as if He doesn’t already know them. But He wants us to share them nonetheless. He wants to hear them from us…offered freely…by choice. After all, this is what real relationship is right? Sharing yourself with another person…being open…being vulnerable. That’s what God desires for each of us…to be in a real relationship with Him. And so to do that, we have to share our hearts.

The second part of this wedding lesson for me is that if we really want His help…not only do we have to ask for it explicitly (and again with full disclosure of our motivation(s))…but we also have to do what He tells us. It seems more and more as I learn and spend time with our Mother, I realize what an incredible teacher she is…what an incredible gift her life is to us. I always hear how Mary points us to Jesus. And while there was a time I thought that was just Catholics trying to make the whole “Mary thing” more digestible to non-Catholics, I’m realizing more and more that it is simply the truth. Mary does point us to Jesus…time and time again.

So here we are, at the Wedding in Cana, and we find Mary telling the servants…and us (since we are servants after all)…that whatever He says to you…do it! You see…again we find that Jesus wants to involve us in His life…in His miracles…in His gifts. I’m sure that Jesus could have simply made the waterpots full of wine. He didn’t need anyone to make this miracle happen. But yet He sought the cooperation of others…of us. And just like He had done with Mary. Certainly He could have been born without her consent. The Creator of the universe doesn’t need our permission for anything. And for that matter He could have simply redeemed the world without our involvement at all. But yet He didn’t. He chose to bless us…not simply by saving us all to begin with…but also allowing us to experience the joy…the immeasurable blessing of participating in our salvation. And just like the first time….here at the Wedding we see Mary once again demonstrating how we are to submit to Him…to His will. “Whatever He tells you, do it.” How very reminiscent of her first response, “May it be done to me according to your word” (Luke 1:38).

And so the second piece of receiving God’s help is obedience….submission…letting go. We often hear people talking about “giving it to God” with the “it” being whatever your need or worry or fear is. And that certainly gets at the submission aspect. We have to truly stop trying to fix things ourselves (and ideally be like Mary and recognize from the get-go that there is no point in even starting to do it our self) and being willing to allow God to fix things. But the other aspect of that is the need for us to obey Him. If I am going to ask for God’s help for a way out of something….or for a solution to some situation…than I need to be willing to do it His way…and that means doing whatever He asks. Whether that means filling up waterpots…or apologizing to someone I hurt…or cutting up my credit card…or taking responsibility for my sin…or admitting my sin out loud to my spouse…I actually have to do it. I have to cooperate with God…I have to work with Him…according to His will.

Now I am not pretending this is easy. God knows (literally) how stubbornly I work to try and fix things or make things turn out a certain way. But if I am honest, I have to admit that the best things that have happened in my life (including the best resolutions to unpleasant things) have happened either without or despite my own efforts. How truly thankful I am that sometimes God graciously works in my life despite myself. He sees my heart…and so often acts based on that…instead of the silly stuff my flesh says or does.

Yes…Mary shows us once again (this time at a wedding)…that if we really want to receive God’s help…if we really want to experience His work in our lives…we first have to ask Him…and then we have to obey.

[Postlude: This may seem small and insignificant to those reading this…but I had to share it. Just a few days ago I downloaded a Bible app to my blackberry that includes the feature of having the Bible read out-loud to you. I checked this out briefly when I downloaded it and started with John 1:1….for no particular reason than thinking it would be cool to hear, “…and the Word was made flesh.” But after a few seconds I closed the app and went about my day. Now here I am writing this blog entry (many days alter)…and I tell you truly…I start to hear someone talking…and I realize that it is the guy from my Bible app reading the Bible AND….here is the real knock-me-to-the-ground-shut-the-front-door thing…he is reading…are you ready…the Wedding at Cana. I mean come on! The blackberry was in my belt holster (not my pocket where you could argue I pocket-dialed the app)…where it is suppose to “sleep” once it is put in there. Aside from that…it wasn’t like I left off at the end of John 1 or anything…i was only a few verses in….but somehow it skipped all the way to John 2. I’m still trying to drink it in. But wow…talk about a God moment. Talk about being in His presence. Amen, Father…and Thank You!]

Many of us are probably familiar with the story of Abraham and Isaac…and how God called Abraham to sacrifice (meaning kill) his only son. In the end, God intervenes and prevents Abraham from actually seeing this through. We knew from the beginning (though Abraham didn’t) that this was a test from God of Abraham’s trust in Him. And in the end God confirms Abraham’s faith:

Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son.” –Genesis 22:12b

Recently it came to my mind that perhaps we’re all called to sacrifice our own Isaac.

You see, I’ve been struggling with an area of my life that isn’t working as I think it should be. I’ve read about it (and am still reading about it), researched it, and feel like my expectation is consistent with the Bible and with Church teaching. And so my dissatisfaction and frustration feel justified. I’m not being unreasonable…this is how it is suppose to be. But the other day (while out on my daily walk with our dog), it occurred to me that despite that my desire for this aspect of my life to be a certain way may be good and valid…the whole thing may now have too much importance in my life. I have become obsessed with things not being the way I want them to be. I get too distracted and/or too distraught when I’m reminded that things in this area of my life simply aren’t right. And it hit me…this is my Isaac.

We have to remember that there was nothing wrong with Isaac. He wasn’t evil or bad (he was just a boy)…and in fact, he was the fulfillment of a promise God made to Abraham and Sarah. He was a divine gift. So the fact that Sarah and Abraham treasured him made perfect sense. But maybe things started to get a little skewed. I mean if we think about it, Abraham had been wanting a son for a long time….years upon years. At one point He even took one of his servants as a wife just for the sake of hopefully having a son (even though that was not God’s plan). And so when God finally opened Sarah’s womb and she gave birth to a baby boy, you can only imagine how much love and attention Abraham poured out on his son. And of course that is good and as it should be. We are to love out children whole-heartedly. But the truth is, we are to love nothing…nothing and no one…more than God. And so maybe Abraham was a little too obsessed with his son…plans for his future…dreams of him taking over for his dad one day. Maybe Abraham was a little too distracted by this love for his son…or maybe he became a little too distraught when things didn’t go exactly as he thought they should with his son. So God stepped in to set things right…and to remind Abraham of the proper priorities for his life. And how could God do that? He asked Abraham to let it go…to remove it…to cut out of his life that thing that took him away from God. God asked Abraham to sacrifice…to kill…to permanently remove whatever was in his life that was usurping God’s position.

And so here I am…recognizing the Isaac that is in my life. I know that God has led me to where I am in my life. He has brought me to this place where I can realize all these incredible gifts. But I have let one of these gifts become an idol. I have let myself become obsessed with one of God’s gifts…I have let it become a pursuit separate from and above God Himself. And most telling of all…I have come to value this gift so much that not only do I not want to be without it…but I can’t imagine God wanting me to let it go…in fact I practically deny it as a possibility.

So my choice is clear. I must sacrifice it. If it is that important to me…if it has become an assumed “must have” in my life….then I am not trusting God…trusting Him to meet my every need…in whatever way He sees fit. So it must be let go. I must be willing to carry the fire and wood all the way to the altar. I need to be willing to take the knife and prepare to slay this part of my life. I need to be prepared to let this gift go…to live without it…to pluck out my eye for the sake of it not causing me to sin (Mark 9:47). And I can’t bank on God’s intervention. I can’t do all this hoping for…counting on…God stepping in as He did with Abraham to stop me. No…I have to be willing to see this through. I need to be willing to actually let this good thing go…because by giving it more importance than it deserves…I have twisted it into something bad. And it is better that I live without this good thing…than to let it distract me from my first priority: To know Him, to Love Him and to serve Him.

The Resurrection

This is the difference maker. This is the answer to the question of how can God allow [insert latest tragedy or evil]. If this is it….meaning if this life is all that there is…then the tragedies and injustices and horrors that sometimes seem to surround us can indeed overwhelm us. But this is NOT it. There is more…there is Eternity. This is but a stage…a visit…a temporary home. And our Faith hinges on The Resurrection.

But if there is no resurrection of the dead, not even Christ has been raised ; and if Christ has not been raised, then our preaching is vain, your faith also is vain.
~ 1 Corinthians 15:13-14

The Ascension

The Apostles were left staring into the clouds…lost in the rapture of that moment..seeing their risen Lord lifted up into Heaven. But He sent His Messengers to gently chastise them. “Men of Galilee, why do you stand looking into the sky?” (Acts 1:11a) Your lives are not over. This is not the end. Life is still going on…and you are to live it. There is reason and purpose in this life. There is good in it…good to be done…good to be experienced. There is much to learn…there is growing to do. And this is the nursery where we have been placed. This is where the seeds of who we will become have been planted…and so we must grow…we must move…we must live.

I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.
~ John 10:10b

The Descent of the Holy Spirit

Of course we can’t do this alone. Plants can’t grow without water…without sun…without roots. And so while this life is meant to be lived…we can’t succeed…we can’t overcome…we can’t flourish without help…and specifically without His help. That is why He sent the Holy Spirit. That is why He chose to share His power with us in this way. And what power it is!

But I tell you the truth, it is to your advantage that I go away ; for if I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you; but if I go, I will send Him to you….But when He, the Spirit of truth, comes, He will guide you into all the truth ; for He will not speak on His own initiative, but whatever He hears, He will speak ; and He will disclose to you what is to come. He will glorify Me, for He will take of Mine and will disclose it to you. All things that the Father has are Mine ; therefore I said that He takes of Mine and will disclose it to you.
~ John 16:7,13-15

The Assumption

Mary’s Assumption reassures us…reinforces our Faith. Through her we again see the Truth…we see the truth of Christ’s promise that there IS life beyond this world…that there is more. In many ways she is the first of us to reach Eternity. What a beautiful love between Christ and His Mother. He preserves her…protects her…and ensures that corruption will not touch her in any way. No physical corruption…and certainly no spiritual corruption.

These all with one mind were continually devoting themselves to prayer, along with the women, and Mary the mother of Jesus, and with His brothers.
~ Acts 1:14

The Coronation of Mary as Queen of Heaven and Earth

If ever we doubted our value in the eyes of God, here we see The Creator make one of His creatures Queen….Queen of Heaven and of Earth. Even the angels who are greater than humans acknowledge her as their queen. Of course we are not Mary….we have not been kept pure as she…nor do any of us live in such complete cooperation with Christ as Mary did. But she is no less our model…no less our example of how to submit to God’s will. And so we lift her up…and we are filled with hope. And we see God Our Father lift her up…and we are filled with greater Hope still.

A great sign appeared in heaven : a woman clothed with the sun, and the moon under her feet, and on her head a crown of twelve stars ; 2 and she was with child ; and she cried out, being in labor and in pain to give birth….And she gave birth to a son, a male child, who is to rule all the nations with a rod of iron ; and her child was caught up to God and to His throne. Then the woman fled into the wilderness where she had a place prepared by God….
~ Revelations 12:1-2,5-6

And Mary said, “Behold, the bondslave of the Lord ; may it be done to me according to your word.”
~ Luke 1:38

I am tired of sin in my life. I am tired of falling and getting back up. I am tired of failing. And so, though I know I will still sin…and still fall…and still fail…I recommit myself this day (and everyday…and every moment…hereafter) to live for God. I want to live boldly…fully…without fear…according to His will in every area of my life. This is truly my heart’s cry. Help me, Father. Help me to live as You desire….help me to be who You created me to be. In Your Son’s name I pray….Amen!

“Go and take your place in the temple area, and tell the people everything about this life.”
– Acts 5:20

It’s interesting that THIS is the charge given to the Apostles after the Angel released them from prison. And I say interesting, I guess, because I would expect their orders to be more along the lines of “tell people about Jesus” or “tell people about the Kingdom of God” or “spread the Good News.” But instead the angel instructs them to tell people everything about this life.

To me this just confirms what I have long suspected…that “Eternal Life” begins now…it begins here. There is no waiting for death…our new life begins now. Death is just a transition. It is an event. But it is neither the start nor the end. Jesus calls to give us life…life here and now…and without end.

“…I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.” – John 10:10b

And so the Angel is instructing the Apostles to tell people that Jesus is about life…about the lives they are living right now. Jesus is here…ever-present…desiring to be a part of our lives. Not just in some lofty, theological sense…but a part of our every day, minute-to-minute lives. Again Jesus tells us:

“I am the way, and the truth, and the life…”

.

The resurrected Lord is about living. All that He taught…all His commandments…all that He calls us to begins in this life. The path to God is practical. Holiness is practical. Saints are practical people.

If we keep waiting for something to happen so that we can start experiencing God’s presence in our lives…then we have already missed it. God is here…now. We just need to ask Him to open our eyes….and to let His Word teach us how to live, how to grow, and how to love…not “when we get to Heaven” or once we become holy…but right now…in This Life!

I realized today that I have this idea…this expectation…that in order for a moment to be meaningful…it needs to be big. Somehow I’ve constructed this belief that a moment has to be life changing…or at least highly significant and memorable…to really count. And by really count…I guess I mean for God to consider it worthwhile. I keep feeling like he has given each of us this limited number of moments…and we are suppose to be doing great things with them. We can’t get to the end of our life and see it was all a collection of grocery store shopping…video game playing…or even book reading. We have to DO things.

Despite that a part of me refuses to believe it’s true…I walk around feeling like my mundane moments…the walks with the dog…the cooking of meals…the changing of litter boxes…the washing of dishes…these moments are being wasted…because I am not doing something more significant. Even moments watching a movie with my wife…or hurrying through a bath with my daughter…they seem insignificant. I sometimes find myself asking is THIS what life is suppose to be?

But something in me keeps insisting that this idea is wrong…that it is twisted. And lately that something has been getting louder.

One thing I want to do during Lent is learn to invite God into more moments of my life. I want to invite Him in to the busyness of my job. I want to invite Him in to the stressful moments…in to the prideful moments…in to the selfish moments. I want Him to be with me in the moments I spend watching TV…washing my daughters hair…brushing the dog. I want to open myself to His presence both when I am in a passionate conversation about my Faith and when I am trying to figure out how to get the third star on a level of Angry Birds.

I can’t say I have it all figured out…or that I can even articulate it clearly. But it feels like something inside of me is saying that moments are significant…because of His presence. It has nothing to do with what we DO….but rather it has everything to do with His being there. Moments aren’t big because of the circumstances or outcomes…they are big when He is in them.

Father, please teach me how to allow You into each moment…and how to make every step I take…significant in Your eyes.

It is all too fitting this particular Lent that it begins with ashes. As I receive the dark outline of the cross on my forehead, my heart’s prayer was that on Easter Sunday the ashes in my life are not burned palm branches…but the charred remains of my sin…my rebellion…my stubborness…my independence…my self-reliance…my selfishness…my anything that separates me from God. Lent is a time to crucify…a time to send to the fire…a time to put to death the self…the flesh…the stuff that gets in our way of being who God created us to be. I want to use this Lent…to allow God to use this Lent…to make me more of who I really am….more of who He really made. This is my heart’s cry.

“Remember, that you are dust, and unto dust you shall return.” -Genesis 3:19

Turn away from sin and be faithful to the Gospel.” – Mark 1:15

I realized this morning…as it dawned on me how quickly my cough and stuffy nose and sinus congestion all dissipated after two weeks of seemingly little progress…that God had healed me without my ever having really asked Him to (though I think I did send up a prayer or two during my roughest days). Obviously I “wished” my cold would go away, but I didn’t bring it to Him in prayer…at least not earnestly. And yet overnight (or so it seems), my voice cleared up, I could breathe freely, and my nagging cough was gone.

I know in the grand scheme this healing is small and my “suffering” was insignificant compared to what so many others are called to endure…but still it taught me a little something about love: Love is persistent. It doesn’t matter that your spouse or child (or parent or sibling or friend) isn’t thinking about your loving them…or that they aren’t asking anything of you at a given moment…you still give…you still do…you still love. And how much greater is the Love of God. We ignore Him, neglect Him, disobey Him…and yet He continues to Love us…answering prayers we don’t vocalize…or ones we offer half-heartedly. Indeed He does know what we need without our asking (Matthew 6:8)…and while He wants us to ask…He wants us to talk to Him and talk with Him…He won’t let our failures get in the way of His blessings in our lives.

What an amazing Love….what an Awesome God! Though we are inconsistent…and sporadic…and fitful…and distracted…He is constant….and His love is persistent!

Father, teach me to love as You do…teach me to persist on Your path…follow Your laws…adhere to Your call…not just every now and then…but every now…every moment.

Recently, God open my eyes to a new (at least new to me) perspective on the Sorrowful Mysteries (as found in the Rosary). As I considered each of these painful moments in Christ’s Passion, I realized that with each step….with each injustice Christ willingly endured…He taught us about dying…specifically about what needs to be crucified in our own lives if we are to ever really know Him.

The Sorrowful Mysteries begin with the “Agony in the Garden.” Here we see Christ in all His humanity painfully, deliberately willing His self to assent to God’s will and His saving plan. No doubt Christ knew what was ahead…the pain…the humiliation…the separation from God. But He also knew the purpose…He knew the reason death was necessary….and He knew the Father. So as He anguished in the garden, sweating blood, praying that this cup might pass from Him…He taught us the about sacrifice and about the need to let our will die so that God’s will might live within us. How humbling it is in this light to recall the countless times I have raged over my own plans being foiled. How often do I fight and push for my will to be done? Christ’s moments in the garden remind me…that my will should be the Father’s will.

The second mystery is the “Scourging at the Pillar.” I don’t know that I will ever think about this horrific moment in Christ’s life and not recall the enactment of this scene in Mel Gibson’s The Passion. Seeing all that Christ had to endure, the pain and torture, it is easy to understand why He had wanted this cup to pass from Him. And I have no doubt that with each strike of the whip His body cried out and begged to be released. He was literally wracked with pain…a pain level I doubt many of us can imagine. Yes, His submission to God’s will meant, among other things, that His body would be made uncomfortable…to say the least. It would be abused, persecuted, and afflicted beyond what any human being could endure. And yet in this, Jesus reveals that our walk with Him must involve this sacrifice of our flesh. We must crucify the comforts and distractions and conveniences that our flesh demands…but that ultimately serves only to distract us, or discourage us, from God’s will. We must not recoil when we feel the sting of our flesh not getting what it craves…we must submit…as Jesus did.

It’s hard to imagine anyone mocking the King of Kings…the Creator of the Universe…and yet the third Sorrowful Mystery reminds us that no sooner did the soldiers finish torturing Jesus’ body, that they went to work on His spirit. The “Crowning with Thorns,” is a vivid reminder that just as Christ did…we must relinquish our pride. Certainly Christ could have protested the soldiers’ mocking with a miraculous demonstration of His Sonship (not that it necessarily would have meant much to them). He could have in fact called down legions of angels to dispatch these soldiers in the blink of an eye. But Jesus knew His sacrifice needed to be perfect…and whole. He knew the Death that He must endure for us was not simply the end of His life…but the Death of our sinfulness. And so Christ willingly sacrificed His pride, refusing to lift Himself up, refusing to assert His own worth…His own prominence. He allowed Himself to be humiliated…despite having the power to end it. How much more should I endure humiliation then…as I have no power to stop anything?

Crucifixion was generally reserved for criminals. It’s punishment was not simply death…but public death. It made your sin clear to everyone. Your sin…your mistakes…your failings as a person. The cross was a sign of guilt. In a sense, the cross was like a more severe scarlet “A” (the letter Hester Prynne bore because of her sin in Nathanial Hawthorne’s The Scarlet Letter”). And yet, the fourth Mystery confronts us with the fact that Christ had to carrying His Cross. The unspotted lamb, the Prince of Peace, the perfectly pure Son of God willingly submitted still further to this complete and unrelenting Death of the self. Never mind the extreme pain Christ surely must have been in, never mind the exhaustion that certainly was perched to overtake Him at any minute, and never mind the historic injustice of having a man without sin being forced to carry a criminal’s punishment. If anyone could ever have turned the tables on the spectators…certainly it was the man who offered that he who is without sin should throw the first stone. If anyone ever could have pointed out the hypocrisy of the whole affair, it was the man who could see into men’s hearts. Here was The Truth and The Way, The Alpha and Omega, the Author of all that is Good, carrying a cross…publicly being labeled a sinner…mocked and jeered as a criminal. And so I am left to ask…who am I to become self-righteous when my sin is exposed…when I am rightly caught in my own shortcomings. Here was God, allowing Himself to be falsely accused and convicted…and here am I…a known, often unrepentant, repeat sinner. As the “good thief” observed,

And we indeed are suffering justly, for we are receiving what we deserve for our deeds ; but this man has done nothing wrong. Luke 23:41

Finally, at the end of this sorrowful journey, we arrive at the Crucifixion itself. We have all heard that one of the strongest (if not the strongest) instinct in the human race…and really among all living creatures…is the preservation of our own life….self-preservation. When confronted with death…the end of our earthly life…many a conviction has died in our place.
As Paul writes:

For one will hardly die for a righteous man ; though perhaps for the good man someone would dare even to die. Romans 5:7

Yet this is the culmination of all the other “deaths” we are to endure. We should love nothing so much in this life (whether our own plans, our physical comfort, our health, our pride) that we are unwilling to let it go…to let this whole life go in fact…if it is asked of us by God.
That is what Jesus does, He endures Death in every shape and every form…and then lays down the entirety of His human life…for us.

Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.

And so as I meditate on these Sorrowful Mysteries, God continues to open my eyes to how I can identify with Christ in my own life…by dying…by sacrificing my will, my physical comfort, my
pride, my self-righteousness, and ultimately my life…all for Him…and for His people. This is God’s plan for our lives…and this is the model He gave us.

A true servant of Jesus is one who is willing to experience martyrdom for the reality of the gospel of God. ~ Oswald Chambers

Constancy…what a rare and valuable commodity in today’s world. Things are always changing it seems. Like that saying, “you can never step into the same river twice,” life is flowing all around us. Time marches on…carrying us and our experiences with it. We live in grains of sand…tiny moments of time that hopefully and prayerfully add up to a life worthy of the promises of Christ. But through it all very little stays the same. Buildings crumble, memories fade, people come and go. I always liked the line from The Muppet Christmas Carol (which while based on Charles Dickens’ classic adds a few lines here and there): “Life is made up of meetings and partings. That is the way of it.” How very true.

But thank God…quite literally…that He is constant. He doesn’t change. As Paul writes in today’s readings:

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.

Our God is the God of both the Old and New Testaments. He is the God who swallowed the Egyptians in the Red Sea AND the God Incarnate, born in a manger, healer of lepers, forgiver of sins. He is our anchor…our lighthouse…our security. He is the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, as well as David and Solomon, and Peter and Paul. And He is my God.

So when the craziness of this world starts to overwhelm me…when I start to feel like I just can’t keep up…I remember that even though Heaven and Earth may pass away…God will remain…and so will all those who live in Him.

It has to be one of the toughest lessons for us to learn — dependence. We work so hard to convince ourselves…and those around us…that we are independent…self-sufficient…that we don’t need anyone. And yet I suspect that at some level, we are all very much aware this is a lie. We can’t take a breath without it being the Will of God. If that were not the case, we would be immortal. But our very existence is dependent on Him. And so whatever “power” or “control” we appear to exert (or that others exert on us)…it’s a mirage. As Christ told Pilate, “You would have no authority over Me, unless it had been given you from above” (John 19:11).

And because Jesus is Truth, He wants to pull back the self-made veil from our eyes…He wants to confront us with our dependence…and then He wants to help us embrace it. That’s what He did for the disciples…and that’s what He wants to do for us:

He instructed them to take nothing for the journey but a walking stick –no food, no sack, no money in their belts. They were, however, to wear sandals but not a second tunic. He said to them, “Wherever you enter a house, stay there until you leave from there….” Mark 6:8-10

Here they were, ready to embark on their first mission for God….their first tour if you will…and Jesus sent them out without anything. No food, no drink, not even a change of clothes. Nothing but a walking stick. Jesus was putting them in a position to where they would have no choice but to trust Him…to trust God the Father. (And isn’t that so often the best way for us to learn…when we don’t have a choice BUT to learn.) Everything they would need…would have to be supplied by God.

Of course God wasn’t going to supply food and shelter supernaturally as he did for the Israelites or for Elijah. The truth is that might have been easier for them. I think it would have been easier for me…given the alternative. No, instead of supernatural provision, Jesus encouraged the Apostles to not only accept their dependence on God, but to accept their dependence on one another….that is on other people. Whatever food they would eat, whatever shelter they would have…it would all come through the kindness and goodness of others…of God’s people. It is one of the great paradoxes of life. Though in the end it is all about our own personal relationship to God, we are meant to work out the relationship together. And sadly, that isn’t always easy:

Any place that does not receive you or listen to you, as you go out from there, shake the dust off the soles of your feet for a testimony against them. Mark 6:11

The Apostles learned first hand that trusting God doesn’t mean He will make the path smooth. Nor does our need for one another ensure that we will all treat eachother with goodness and kindness. Yet that doesn’t change anything. We are still dependent…still helpless without God…still needing Him…and still needing each other.

But as always, The Gospels are ultimately a message of hope. And so while the Apostles were thrown into the depend end of dependence…they showed us that if we will embrace our dependence on God….if we will trust Him for our needs…if we will focus on doing what He asks of us…and if we will be obedient…then we will succeed beyond anything we could ever have pretended to do on our own.

They went out and preached that men should repent. And they were casting out many demons and were anointing with oil many sick people and healing them.Mark 6:12-13