Living as a Flawed Disciple

Today’s readings peal back the curtain and reveal glimpses of three of God’s “homes” — His heavenly home (the City of God), His earthly home (the Temple in Jerusalem), and His most humble home (Us). I have to admit, the most challenging one for me is the latter. It’s hard to get my head around the concept that our bodies are a temple…a holy place. And they are holy not because of what we do…because of how “good” we are…but because we are covered with God’s fingerprints. We are His creation…and more than that…God chooses to dwell in us. That is why we are holy temples. We don’t bring holiness to ourselves. In fact, it is closer to reality to say that our life is holy despite ourselves.

But the idea that there is literally something…SomeOne in me….besides myself…it’s just strange to think about. We can’t “feel” Him the way we can feel the outline of our ribs or the way we can feel the beat of our heart. But He is nonetheless there. And I believe we can hear Him…though it takes practice.

And he said, Go forth, and stand upon the mount before Jehovah. And, behold, Jehovah passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before Jehovah; but Jehovah was not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; but Jehovah was not in the earthquake: and after the earthquake a fire; but Jehovah was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice. 1 Kings 19: 11-12

I think this is one of the things God is teaching me now…how to better hear him. I feel like He is showing me how to distinguish His voice…His thoughts…from the cacophony of my own thoughts. And as best I can tell just now…it is that still small voice. It is persistent…and true…but it doesn’t clammer for attention. Yet when I focus on it…I know it is different from my own thoughts. It is holy.

And when I think still further about all of this…about God speaking to me…in me…and I really dwell on the idea that God is here…with me…all the time…in me…I can’t help but think that I should be different. I mean since He is here…since perfection is ever present to me…since holiness is forever surrounding me… shouldn’t that change things radically in my life? If I carry the King of the Universe…the source of all that is Good, and True, and Pure…with me everywhere I go…whether in darkness or light….shouldn’t my life be different? If I think about it, whatever I eat or drink…whatever I watch…whatever activity I engage in…I am engaging God in all of that with me. Maybe I need to think more about what I put into my body. Of course this reality…of God being in us…is more than a supernatural Nike tagline suppose to motivate us to stay healthy and fit.

This is about intimacy with our Creator. It’s about recognizing that this life we have been given is Holy…and I should strive to live a life that lets that Holiness burst through. I shouldn’t just be alive…I should live. And I should live with a passion that honors God’s Creation. In a way, I feel like I should be celebrating Mass each day through my life. With all my thoughts, words, and deeds I should be praising God, proclaiming His Word to others, sacrificing my flesh…my self, imploring His Will be done, humbling myself in His presence, and going forth always looking to love and serve. We celebrate Mass each week in God’s brick and mortar homes here on Earth…shouldn’t I be celebrating it all the more every day in His temple…in me?

More. I feel like I am always asking God for more. Not more material blessings…because (thank God) I can at least appreciate how incredibly generous He is to me. No…when I ask for more I’m always asking for something to make me better…something to improve me or my faith. I pray for more strength, or more patience, or more direction. I pray for more wisdom, for greater understanding, for a faster transformation. I ask God to make me a better husband, a better father, a better employee. And I do all this genuinely…wanting so desperately to be the man God created me to be…and knowing I have so far to go. I long to be useful to Him, and so I am constantly wanting more help overcoming all my flaws. But then I read today’s Gospel.
Here are the disciples…blessed with knowing our savior in the flesh. They get to eat with Him, joke with Him, walk with Him, even touch Him. And while I realize none of these men started as Saints, I can’t help but believe if I got to actually know Jesus in that way…my faith would be through the roof. I would be unstoppable for God. Yet here they are wanting Jesus to increase their faith…asking for more. Are they kidding? What more could they expect Jesus to do?
But as always, Jesus sees through their question (as He does our’s)…and instead of answering what we thought we were asking, He addresses the true heart of the matter.

The Lord replied, “If you have faith the size of a mustard seed,
you would say to this mulberry tree,
‘Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’
and it would obey you.” Luke 17:6

When I read this, I imagine Jesus’ response to my own requests for more. “You are right to desire Faith…to want to continue to be transformed into My likeness. But rather than ask me for more, why not ask yourself what are you doing with what I have already given you?” Isn’t that what He is saying? The disciples ask for more faith, and Jesus explains how even the tiniest amount of Faith is sufficient. The disciples didn’t see what they already have as enough…just as I don’t see the strength I have already been given (or the patience or the widsom or the…) as enough. But it must be…because Jesus says it is. In this passage of Scripture I believe He is telling us that if only we truly believed in what we’ve come to understand thus far…if only we fully acted on the Truth He has revealed to us up to this point…if only we did more with what He has already provided…then we’d realize, we don’t need more. He has given us enough. He has given us all that we need. We have Him…we have the Holy Spirit…we have the Saints…we have our Holy Mother…and we have His strength…His wisdom…His Love. He is not going to do the work for us. It is our cross…we have to carry it. But He’ll give us the strength to lift it, the wisdom to accept it, the patience to endure it. In fact He already has…that’s the point. We just need to use what He has given us. We need to step out in faith…knowing we have enough to accomplish all things through Him. In fact…we not only have enough…we have more than enough.

I have always liked the concept of “working out your salvation.” Don’t get me wrong. I like the idea of “once saved always saved.” Having made an adult proclamation of faith, both through Confirmation and through Baptism, it would certainly be a relief if I knew with certainty that I am secure…that I have locked up my eternal destination…and so I have nothing left I have to do…no other expectations. But that just doesn’t jive with my own heart…and how I understand the concept of free will.

As C.S. Lewis says, each decision we make…each and every moment of each and every day…moves us either a step closer to becoming a heavenly creature, or a hellish one. Our destinies are not literally determined in a single moment (though certainly there are pivotal decisions in ones life that seem to shape everything from that point forward). But just as easily as someone chooses to follow Christ they can sadly choose to abandon Him. And I know for me…the back and forth seems to happen almost daily. One moment I am focused and determined and filled with God’s presence in and around my life…and the next I am in the middle of sin…deliberately having chosen to be there.

And so each day…each moment…I am trying to work out my salvation…trying to live out my faith…fighting to let go of more and more in my life…and cling ever more tightly to Christ. And so I believe, that despite the questioning and grumbling that I do, ultimately God is working in me, making me into a light that can pierce through and shine in this crooked and perverse world. As Jesus says…I need to pick up my cross each day…and pick it up whenever I fall…and carry it. Otherwise I am no disciple at all. And if I was no disciple at all (instead of a flawed one)…then all my work…all God’s work…would be in vain. And I am simply refuse to let that happen.

What an incredible set of readings today. This is our hope! This is what our faith is about. As Paul says in one of his letters, it all comes down to this. If Christ did not die for our sins, if He did not rise from the dead….then our faith is in vain…and we are fools. Thank God then for His Son…The Way, The Truth, and The Life.

In today’s reading from Wisdom, we have beautifully detailed the truth and meaning of our trials here. But more than that, we have the promise…the utter factuality of our immortality…of our reward…of our forever. As it says…those who die with Christ appear to the foolish to be dead indeed. Their death appears sad or tragic. But it is not so. Those who die in Christ are at peace. And more than that:

In the time of their visitation they shall shine,
and shall dart about as sparks through stubble;
they shall judge nations and rule over peoples,
and the Lord shall be their King forever.
Those who trust in him shall understand truth,
and the faithful shall abide with him in love:
because grace and mercy are with his holy ones,
and his care is with his elect. Wisdom 3:7-9

We will dart about as sparks…bursting with life and light. All because God is Good and Faithful.

You know I have to admit that I get a little negative twinge when it comes to Psalm 23. I imagine that’s because it is so continually associated with death and funerals. But as I read it again today…the Hope within it just pops off the page. My Father leads me, He gives me rest, He refreshes me, He encourages me, and because of Him I have nothing to fear…nothing. On top of that…goodness and kindness follow me…ALL of my days. I don’t need to wait for “the other shoe to drop.” I don’t need to fear the end of all the joy and goodness in my life that I know I don’t deserve. They will follow me…all of my days. That’s His promise. What more could I ask for…what more could I ever hope to want?

As Paul writes in today’s passage from Romans, Hope does not disappoint. We have the Love of God within us. And as Christ Himself says in the Gospel…He will not lose even one of us. He came for us. He came to save us…to bring us back to Our Father…to restore us to the paradise He always desired us to know. And so while death is a part of this life…a part that we added…another perversion that we introduced…it too has been redeemed and transformed. What once seemed like the end (and sadly still does for so many), is really now just a transition. Christ came that we might have eternal life. It is ours…it is mine…if only I believe…I follow…I love. That is what I believe. That is my hope.

I had a little revelation this weekend. If I want to know where I stand in terms of my walk with God…in terms of my faith, I just need to ask myself…what do I withhold from Him? What do I cling to….and squeeze hold of tighter when I feel as though it might be taken away? The less I can name, the deeper my faith…the stronger my commitment. As I considered this, it brought to mind the story of Abraham and Isaac (Genesis 22:1-19). God tested Abraham, asking for his son…his only son. And not just asking for Abraham to give him up…but to kill him. That’s a serious test.

And here I am…failing the test over and over….and all God asks for is my time (time spent being patient with the older lady driving in front of me), my money (giving that $5 to the homeless man begging on the corner instead of having that hamburger I had been looking forward to all morning), my energy (helping my wife fold the laundry instead of watching the last quarter of the big game), my prayers (lifting up this person struggling with cancer or the other person struggling with depression instead of asking only for strength for myself)…

Why do I cling so tightly? It is all His after all. Whatever I have, it is only because He has given it. That I have come to cherish my time, my money, my energy, etc. is only because He has allowed me to experience and control these things. One word and they could all disappear. And if I knew that…and really believed that…then wouldn’t it change how I approach these things? Shouldn’t it?

Father, please take my time…I return it to you. Whatever You would have me do today…make it happen. Let me accept every delay, every interruption, every intrusion into my agenda…into my schedule…as a divine appointment. Let me seek You in each moment…knowing You are there…knowing you brought me to that moment for a reason.

Father, please take my money…I return it to you. Whatever you would have me “spend” it on…to whomever you want me to give it…make it happen. Let me be content with what I have, and not seek something bigger or better or cooler. Open my eyes to the need You see and show me how to help. Let me recognize that each dollar I spend is Your dollar, and that You will want an account of how I spent it….and then remind me of how difficult it will be to be faced with hunger and homelessness and justify why I needed that new suit.

Father, please take my energy…I return it to you. Whatever you would have me apply myself to…make it happen. Remove the sense of urgency I create by stacking up this list of things I “have” to do. Give me clarity to recognize what must be done…on Your list. Push me out of my complacency and laziness. Kindle in me a fire for Your work, a passion for Your will. Fill me with eagerness for Your projects…not mine.

Father, I want to give You everything…even though I don’t know what that will require of me. Help me to not withhold anything from you: Not my agenda, not my desires, not my toys, not my job, not my life…and not the life of my loved ones. Change me, Father, so that whatever You ask…whatever You require…I will obey…I will let go. This is my heart’s cry, Father…that You would measure me, and find that I am not wanting for anything…but more of you.

I found a little something in all three Scripture readings today. First, in Paul’s letter to the Ephesians, he reminds me of our connectedness. Wherever we go…when we are among others who believe and declare Jesus as God’s Son and trust in Him for their forgiveness and salvation…these are our brothers and sisters. We are connected in a way that surpasses blood relationships. Our very essence…our spirits…are connected and interwoven and united. And so while it can be challenging for someone more introverted like me to feel comfortable in a new group of people, I need to remember that when I am among believers, I am at home…I am safe. No place else will God’s spirit reach me as openly and effectively as among His children. He can move most freely among His people…and so I should not go reluctant or hesitant because of new faces…but rather eager because of God’s presence.

The second reading…the Responsorial Psalm…just stirred me with its poetic imagery. I love the picture of the fullness of Creation forever resounding with praise to God…always echoing for us His Love and Grace and Mercy.

Day pours out the word to day,
and night to night imparts knowledge.

But I must admit the original Psalm itself is even more moving in its depiction of Nature forever whispering the Love and Majesty of Our God.

The heavens declare the glory of God; the sky proclaims its builder’s craft.
One day to the next conveys that message; one night to the next imparts that knowledge.
There is no word or sound; no voice is heard;
Yet their report goes forth through all the earth, their message, to the ends of the world. Psalm 19:2-5

Though there is no audible word or perceivable sound, God’s Truth reverberates through all Creation…through us….into us. Despite so many denying that Truth…or so polluted that they can’t feel it…it touches us all. God’s constant reminder that He is in control, that He loves us, and that all is His.

The third reading is a lesson in decision making…one I still struggle to apply. The time has come for Jesus to choose the 12. It doesn’t say how many disciples he had at that point to choose from, but regardless, Jesus obviously needed to discern who the 12 would be. And so despite His “natural” gifts of wisdom and intelligence, despite the gut feeling He probably had, He refused to make a decision without praying first. Once more, He didn’t throw up a quick prayer, “Father, guide my decision. Amen.” and then simply act on his own instincts. No, Jesus sought the Father. He prayed…and waited on God for a response. He prayed fervently I am sure…but also patiently. He prayed all night. Can you imagine…working all day, knowing you have a big decision coming up, feeling its weight on you, and then getting to the end of your day and deciding not to get some rest…not to sleep, but instead pray…and pray all night…because it is THAT important.

Jesus refused to move…to take a step…until He knew what God wanted. I don’t know how much clearer God can be in laying out how we are…and how I am…to make decisions. Seek Him…seek His will…find out His desire…search out His plan. And then…only then…do I move. I find it really difficult sometimes…many times…just waiting. I want to make a decision…especially a big decision…and have it done. Of course I do my research…analyze the situation…think about it nearly non-stop. I generally am not rash in my decisions. (Many would say I over analyze things.) The problem is…that once I feel like I have an answer…I want to move forward. So waiting on God…waiting on the definitive yeah-that’s-what-God-wants feeling…it is a real challenge for me. Or sometimes it is the opposite. The decision is so big with so many potential consequences….that I keep waiting…ignoring that sense inside of me telling me that I already know the answer….and instead apparently waiting for some miraculous vision or a direct message from one of God’s Angels. I am so afraid of making a misstep that I don’t move at all. Either way…perhaps if I simply committed to prayer…and continued praying until I had an answer…making these big decisions would be less stressful…and more faith building. After all, if it was good enough…and important enough…for Jesus, then it is certainly good enough for me.

I knew I would meet God this morning. I was a jerk yesterday…lost my temper…and said some things I should not have said. Of course I knew not 10 seconds after the words came out of my mouth that I was wrong. Dead wrong. And though I knew it would be awhile before I would have a chance to make amends to this person I love, I knew God would meet me this morning…in Scripture. I knew He would be waiting there to reaffirm the truth that I needed…to cement the lesson I learned (and obviously still need to learn) this time. And of course he did:

Be kind to one another, compassionate,
forgiving one another as God has forgiven you in Christ.
Be imitators of God, as beloved children, and live in love,
as Christ loved us and handed himself over for us
as a sacrificial offering to God for a fragrant aroma. Eph 4:32–5:2

It doesn’t take much to realize that selfishly railing about one’s own plans and desires doesn’t equate with being kind, compassionate, or imitating Christ. So I knew what I had to admit…again.

Yup…I screwed up, God. But what is new, right? I wish I could understand how I can be so focused on You, Father, at one point in my day…or may even just hours or minutes before…and then so quickly forsake it all for the sake of my “self.” It seems to happen so suddenly…I become vehement about what I think I need or want…and feel it is my right…or that I deserve it. And before I know it…I am lashing out at whoever or whatever is in the way of me getting what I “need” or want. And it always starts with a seemingly innocent thought or action…either mine or someone else’s. It’s crazy to think how many things are said or done that simply move through my mind like the ticker tape. Most don’t linger…but for some reason…sometimes…something catches or drags in the forefront of my mind. But even then, I imagine if I stopped there and looked to You…said a prayer…asked for Your help…offered this thought/action to You…then maybe it would be over before anything began. But too often I don’t do that. I start to think about what was said or done (or what wasn’t said or done). And inevitably my first concern is how that affects me. That is when the trouble begins. Why did he/she say/do that? Didn’t they consider how I would feel? Did they say/do that on purpose? Why am I always the one people say/do this to? And the list goes on. Talk about your slippery slope! As soon as I give just one of those questions a moment of thought…it seems as though they all are entertained at once…and I start to feel hurt or angry or bitter or all of these or something else. Once that happens, fight or flight kicks in…and I start to defend myself…to take what should be mine (“respect,” “consideration,” “freedom,” “an apology,” whatever). From that point on, I am no longer thinking about anyone else but me.

I can imagine, Father, that if it wasn’t for the pain these tantrums cause, You might just chuckle at them when they happen. It must be quite a sight to see this creation of Yours so totally dependent on You…so obviously not in control of almost anything…flailing and swinging at the world trying to demand his/her “rights” or to get his/her “needs” met. And all this despite the fact that this creation knows (at least most of the time) that You are the source of everything…that You love him/her…and that You gladly and abundantly supply all that he/she needs. What a sad display it must be when I try to take control of meeting my needs and obtaining my wants…so futile and so clearly backwards.

But the joy, Father, is that despite these continual failings on my part…You provide the way out of my self…the way back to You. First, You remind me of the reason for needing to abandon myself: “Christ loved us and handed himself over for us [me] as a sacrificial offering….” We were saved at a great cost. You love us so much, that You didn’t think twice about doing whatever it would take. You loved…and so we live.

Second, You pick me up…lift me up…out of myself. You have already forgiven me by the time the request reaches my lips. And not only do You forgive, but You saved me from the eternal consequences of my sin.

You are merciful….You are compassionate…You are Good. You humbled Yourself…for my sake. You endured unspeakable humiliations and deprivations…for my sake. You allowed Yourself….Your Son…to be tortured…abused…spit upon…degraded…for my sake. How did You do it, Jesus? How did You restrain Yourself from wiping out all those who dare hurt You…who dare deny that You are God’s Son? Surely You could have destroyed them all…and who among us would have blamed You? But that is why Your ways are not our ways.

I can only imagine You did it…You endured all for our sake…not by focusing on Yourself….but by focusing on others…by focusing on Your/Our Father. You decided to serve…rather than be serve. You decided to put us first….rather than demand that You be first (as You most assuredly deserve). You crucified Your own flesh, long before the first nail ever pierced You. And I guess that is what I have to do. I have to be like You. As best I can…in each situation I have to remember…that You endured far worse…You humbled Yourself far more…and so who am I to demand my “rights.” Yup…that’s what I need to do. That is what I should have done. I knew it!

…lead a life worthy of the calling to which you have been called…Ephesians 4:1-6

This is Paul’s halftime speech. This is his locker room motivation. He’s begging…he’s pleading with us…just live a life that is worthy of our call. He’s not asking us to change the whole world. He isn’t asking us to proselytize everyone on the street. He isn’t asking us to sell all our worldly possessions and join a monastery. All he is asking is that we live what we believe. That we live our lives as Christians in such a way that we honor that name…the name of Christ Jesus.

God paid everything to save us. He didn’t even withhold His Son…His Divinity from us. He entered our dirt and filth and sin…subjected himself to the worst of us…allowed us to place our most vile evilness on Him…and even descended into Hell…all for the sake of saving us…of making a way for us to return to Paradise.

And so when He calls us to our jobs and professions, to our marriages, to our children, to our Churches, to our neighborhoods and communities, to our world…Paul begs us to remember the price God paid…and to live a life worthy of that. We’ll never be perfect. But no coach expects his team to be perfect. The expectation, I think, is that we pursue perfection. We strive to be our best…each moment…everytime. That is what I think Paul is saying. Remember you were bought at a price. Remember that you bear His name. Remember that you are God’s child. And act like it. Act in a way that will honor Him….that will make Him proud.

Father, I know that so often I fall short. So many times I emerge from a situation and am convicted by what I should have done or should have said. But I ask that You continue to transform me…continue to erase the evil in me…the dirt I have let build up, and fill me with Your Spirit…with Your fruit…that I may share it with those around me. Help me to live the life You have for me…the life You desire for me. Don’t let me compromise or take a shortcut. I want to live for you…I want to live out loud for you. I am so thankful for this life You have given me…for your constant blessings. I want to live boldly for You…without fear…completely abandoned to You and Your will. Help me, Father. I can’t do it without You. Make me like Your Son…and through Him…make me worthy of Your call. On my own I will always fall short. But with You, through You, In You…I am worthy.

All praise be Yours…forever and ever.

I have to admit I am thoroughly unfamiliar with today’s passage from Luke. Having read the Bible all the way through a few years ago, I know I must have read this before…but it is foreign to me. Maybe that is because I find it so troubling….so difficult.

I guess I thought by Jesus’ arrival we did away with the idea of children carrying the sins of their fathers. That seems unfair…unjust. But this passage implies that our burden…our guilt…is not just the sins of our fathers, but our fathers’ fathers, and our fathers’ fathers’ fathers.

…in order that this generation might be charged
with the blood of all the prophets
shed since the foundation of the world….

That’s a tough deal. BUT…we need…I need to look at this remembering that God is Just.

It certainly isn’t hard to see how we are the product of the generations before us. With all our accomplishments…with all our revivals…we are still the progression…or rather regression…of the generations before us. Since the first gift of God…the first Law of God was twisted…we haven’t looked back. The distance of time somehow has lessened the tragedy of all our sin. We rationalize and dismiss many of our choices today because “that’s just the culture we live in.” We are the blame society after all…accountability is all but gone. We seek solace in knowing we are products of society…of culture…of “our time.” But that is precisely why we stand convicted…and rightfully so. Why shouldn’t the blood of the all the prophets and Apostles be on us. Unless we heed their words…unless we humble ourselves to their message…how are we any different than those who killed them?

But I have to be careful. For God is about conviction…not guilt. Now that I see this…now that I realize my collusion…rather than gripe about it being “unfair” AND instead of feeling overwhelmed and depressed (by the guilt and consequences of all this sin), I need to wrap myself in the blanket of God’s Mercy and Grace. I need to follow the simple example of the Prodigal Son. If I just humble myself…acknowledge my unworthiness….my sin…and start back to God, He will meet me…He will run to me before I ever get the chance to run to Him. The formula is simple…and has been for thousands of years:

…if my people, who are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land. 2 Chronicles 7:14

Call, humble, pray, seek, and turn…that’s all there is to it. God has already forgiven us…already paved the way for Eternity without blemish…without guilt. Just freedom and love. But not only are we forgiven, but the future is not yet written. It isn’t too late for us. Our generation can still change. We can still honor the prophets and Apostles. All we have to do is obey. And all that responsibility to change…to obey…well…it all starts…with me…

Father, please humble me…convict me of the sin in my life…convict me of all that is unholy. Strip away my pride so that I can fully embrace Your love and forgiveness. And finally, direct my next step, Father. Set me on Your path…and guide all of my steps. Teach me to honor Your servants of old…my brothers and sisters surrounding me. Empower me to obedience…to humble service. Let me be a light for my generation. Let me be a beacon for Your love…and Mercy…and Grace. I know I am unworthy, Father. But all things are possible through You.

You certainly can’t read today’s Gospel, and walk away feeling anything but conviction….at least I can’t. Jesus doesn’t hold back and leaves no ambiguity.

Much will be required of the person entrusted with much,
and still more will be demanded of the person entrusted with more.

Whatever I am doing, whatever good I manage to allow God to do through me, there is more. More that God wants to do in me and through me. More that He’s already gifted me to do. And so it begs the question…what’s my problem? Why am I not doing more? God has blessed me so abundantly. He has been so incredibly patient with me all these years as I rebelled and struggled and backslid and failed. He has always “believed” in me…and in who I can be. He knows my potential…because He created it…He wove it into me. But still…as wayward as I am…He continues to bless me…continues to call to me…continues to meet me the moment I turn back to Him…and away from sin. And yet…

I can do more…I can be more. I want to do more. I want to be more. All that is left is just doing it. I have to stop making all the excuses. I have to stop procrastinating. All I need to do is move…is begin…is take the first step. He will point the way, and open my eyes, and give me the strength I need. He’ll do all the hard work. I just need to obey.

Just recently I watched “The Blind Side” again…and again I was moved by the simple obedience…the lack of hesitation Mrs. Tuohy demonstrated. She didn’t analyze and plan and weigh the options and consider the consequences. She just acted. She saw the need in this one boy (Michael Oher)…and knew in her soul that she could help…that she should help…and so she did. It was that simple. And that was just one person helping one other person. What if we all obeyed God’s promptings like that? All of His promptings? What if we all just “did” and didn’t worry about ourselves? What if that is how I lived?

Father, forgive me for doing so little for so long. You have blessed me with so very much. You have continually poured out Your love on me…and I have hidden it under the bushel. Infuse me with Your Spirit…wipe away my laziness. Move me to the “More” You have for me. Let me see where I can share Your love. Open my eyes to how I can obey. Make my life about You…not about me. I know I am weak…but I also know that You are strong…and I am strong through You. Your Spirit has convicted me…now lead me in Your will. From this moment forward I want to live in Your More. Please hear me, Father…this is my heart’s cry.